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Canada: Husband's iPhone addiction leaves wife lonely - Barrie Examiner

Found: Mon Jun 19 02:01:15 2017 PDT
Source: Barrie Examiner (CN ON)
Copyright: 2017, Barrie Examiner
Webpage: [translate]

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Dear Amy: My husband of many years is addicted to his iPhone. It goes everywhere with him and has his undivided attention. There was once a time that this was necessary for his work. I understood and did not mind, but it is no longer a necessity for his work, and his time on this device has me concerned.

Over the past year, it has gotten out of hand.

I do not believe there is another romantic involvement here, but he is just always staring at his phone, whether we are at a restaurant, watching TV, or in bed.

The first thing he reaches for when he wakes up is his phone, and it will be the last thing he does before he goes to sleep. The phone is his number one priority.

I have tried numerous times to speak with him about how lonely I am to have him always on the phone, but he thinks I'm trying to control his enjoyment of reading articles or interacting on social media. He says this is his way of relaxing.

We are a working couple, soon approaching retirement. I'm worried about what he will be like then.

-- Unplugged

Dear Unplugged: Smartphone addiction is real, and many users (including myself) struggle with the impact that their usage is having on their life.

You could qualify your husband's constant use as an addiction because it is having a negative impact on his relationship with you (and likely other people in his life).

One way I measure usage is to imagine the smartphone as a book or newspaper. Would you take a book or newspaper to bed or into the bathroom? Possibly. Would (or should) you read a book or newspaper while driving 65 mph down the highway, while out at dinner with your spouse and friends, or while walking through the woods? No.

There are very practical ways to control smartphone usage that your husband could try, starting with deleting social media apps from his phone (he could still check on a laptop), or turning off notifications. He should leave it face down, turned off, or in another room during meals. There are apps (ironically) that will help a person track and control their usage. One article I read suggested that getting a smart watch could help break the phone addiction.

None of these suggestions will make any impact on your life unless your husband recognizes this as a problem and decides to address it. You might get his attention by snapping a series of photos of him glued to his phone throughout the course of one day.

Dear Amy: We are an elderly couple with no children of our own.

There are two sisters and one brother that have a total of nine children and about 15 grandchildren.

We should be happy we are invited to every birthday, christening, graduation, bridal shower, wedding and every other social event in their lives. But each occasion calls for a gift of some kind that has been putting a strain on our fixed-income budget.

How do we attend an event or accept an invitation and say no to the gift-giving without causing any ill feelings or being talked about?

-- Worried Uncle

Dear Worried: Your family members should understand the situation you are in; presumably they would be just as happy to see you, regardless of whether you come with a gift in hand.

Be frank about this. You might send out an email to the adult members of your family group expressing your gratitude to always be included in these landmark events. Tell them how important they are to you. And then explain, "Because of our limited income, our ability to purchase gifts has dwindled. We hope to accept these invitations without the pressure of gift-giving, but feel self-conscious about it. Please let me know privately if this is going to be a problem for you or the children."

Dear Amy: I understand a lot of men are responding to the letter from "Frustrated!" about her husband's lack of initiative regarding household chores.

In my case, I jump in and do my best, but my efforts are criticized and belittled.

It is hardly inspiring me to do more.

-- Also Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: I agree that this is an ancillary issue. In my response to "Frustrated!" I said that once her husband steps up, she needs to accept the fact that she is not solely in charge. This calls for her to let go.

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analysis of article text

prohibitionist hits:0 government drug warrior (prohibition_agency) hits:0 propaganda (drugwar_propaganda) hits:11 legalization hits:0 drug_reformer hits:0 reform_referenda hits:0 cannabis hits:0 stimulant hits:0 narcotic hits:0 hallucinogen hits:0
    prohibitionist     prohibition_agency     drugwar_propaganda     legalization     drug_reformer
    reform_referenda     cannabis     stimulant     narcotic     hallucinogen

incarceration/prison mentioned? NO - the issue of prison or incarceration was NOT mentioned in this article .

propaganda analysis

explicit prohibition propaganda (explicit_propaganda) hits:0 hated group (propaganda_theme1) hits:0 madness, violence, illness (propaganda_theme2) hits:7 survival of society (propaganda_theme3) hits:1 gateway, use is abuse (propaganda_theme4) hits:0 children (propaganda_theme5) hits:3 demonize, war, epidemic (propaganda_theme6) hits:0 total prohibition (propaganda_theme7) hits:0 dissent opposed (propaganda_theme8) hits:0
EXP - explicit prohibition propaganda (explicit_propaganda) GRP - hated group (propaganda_theme1) MAD - madness, violence, illness (propaganda_theme2)
SOC - survival of society (propaganda_theme3) USE - gateway, use is abuse (propaganda_theme4) KID - children (propaganda_theme5)
WAR - demonize, war, epidemic (propaganda_theme6) TOT - total prohibition (propaganda_theme7) DIS - dissent opposed (propaganda_theme8)

 drug of abuse implied / mentioned

drug related 60%
[news] [concept]

illegal drugs  
drugwar_propaganda : a drug war propaganda event, campaign release, slogan, or themepropaganda

drugwar propaganda 60%
[news] [concept]

propaganda theme2 propaganda theme3 propaganda theme5 Why Are Americans So Easy to Manipulate? (Bruce E Levine, 2012)
Classic Modern Drug Propaganda
Themes in Chemical Prohibition
Drug War Propaganda (kindle edition)
 addiction 60%
[news] [concept]
"addiction" "addicted"4Twelve-Step Snake Oil (2012)
Ceremonial Chemistry: The Ritual Persecution of Drugs, Addicts, and Pushers (Thomas Szasz)
Rat Park
Most People With Addiction Simply Grow Out of It: Why Is This Widely Denied? (2014)
propaganda_theme2 : drug war propaganda theme: madness, violence, illness caused by drugsmadness, violence, illness

propaganda theme2 60%
[news] [concept]

"negative impact" "problem" addiction3Madness Crime Violence Illness (propaganda theme 2)
Distortion 18: Cannabis and Mental Illness
No, marijuana use doesn't lower your IQ (10/2014)
propaganda_theme3 : drug war propaganda theme: survival of societysurvival of society

propaganda theme3 50%
[news] [concept]

"Community"1Survival of Society (propaganda theme 3)
The "Nation" as a Device To Create a Psychological Crowd
propaganda_theme5 : drug war propaganda theme: children corrupted by drugschildren

propaganda theme5 60%
[news] [concept]

"children"3Children Corrupted (propaganda theme 5)
Think of the children
 drug of abuse

illegal drugs 60%
[news] [concept]

 youth 60%
[news] [concept]
propaganda theme5

st:0.01 fo:0 s:0 d:0 c:0.12 db:0.131 a:0.31 m:0.03 t:1.01 (f)

text of article used for CRITICAL ANALYSIS, under FAIR USE provisions of the Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107, et al.

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    article tags


    youth concept
    illegal_drugs concept - drugs of abuse, so-called
    propaganda_theme5 concept - drug war propaganda theme: children corrupted by drugs
    propaganda_theme3 concept - drug war propaganda theme: survival of society
    propaganda_theme2 concept - drug war propaganda theme: madness, violence, illness caused by drugs
    addiction concept - addition or drug dependency
    drugwar_propaganda concept - a drug war propaganda event, campaign release, slogan, or theme
    drug_related concept - related to illegal drugs and prohibition